People want what they want. As someone who has been described as "too nice" by many, I have found myself in situations that I really didn't want to be in. I'm not talking about horrific situations that could cause lifelong consequences. Rather, I am referring to going along with the plans of others and repeatedly doing things that I really don't feel like doing. Now, being a friend, daughter, and aunt does require compromise and giving in to others to make them happy. This is merely part of getting along with others. However, there are are times when others see that you are good-natured and try to bulldoze their way to what they want. It's easy to fall into the passive-aggressive pattern of going along with it as you are fuming on the inside. On the other hand, it's not uncommon for a "nice" person to get their back up after repeatedly making others happy. Yes, it is hard to find that middle ground. After being in this situation myself, my best advice is to tell the other person "I'll think about it". This is a subtle way to alert the other person that you may not be comfortable with the situation and allows you some time to mull things over.
After a ten and a half hour workday, I woke up with the most horrendous cold. BAM...without warning, I my nose was stuffed to the point where I could barely breathe, my ears were clogged, my thoughts were foggy, and I felt downright cranky. As I battle this monstrous cold, I've decided to dedicate this week's post to surviving as a single when you're feeling way under the weather. My best tips:
Wish I had more for ya but sadly I do not. Cold and flu season hasn't even started yet and I've whipped through a whole box of tissues in one day. I'm off to heat up some frozen pizza and a sidedish of veggies. Stay well, everyone!
Several years ago I seemed to meet the same man twice. Well, not exactly but it sure felt this way. I’ll refer to them as “R” and “M” and keep this story short since I really don’t want to relive my time with either man.
While these two men were not twins, looking back they shared many similarities. Their routine was the same. I never became the girlfriend of either. Rather, we would just “hang out”. Sure, both took me on a cursory date or two. The chivalry ended right there. These two men were experts at the Houdini routine, or “ghosting” as the younger set refers to this mode of operation. Meaning they would appear and disappear, repeatedly. Both canceled dates at the last minute and seemed sincere in their excuses. Once it was a last minute switch up at work, another time a death in the family, then vertigo struck. Both men complimented me to the hilt and seemed to “like" me on some level. Our relationship became physical, but I was too stupid to realize that neither man wanted more than once in a while fun.
Now, this wouldn’t have been a bad thing if I was looking for something similar in a man. I’ll admit that I wanted more. I was honest with both guys, and the cycle continued.
I used to wonder, “How could anyone be so crappy?” and then I realized it. The answer is simple. I allowed it.
A male friend of mine made a suggestion of the one chance rule. It is simple. Everyone that you meet gets one chance to cancel at the last minute or make an excuse. If they do it again, they are history. At the time I thought it was harsh. One strike and you’re out? Then I decided to test out his advice. I didn’t have as many “dates” anymore but I had much less garbage in my life. No more games, no more “I’ll call you” with a text message three weeks later. No more wondering why he wouldn't respond to my facebook friend request, accompany me to a party, or meet my friends. More nights alone, but at least they were peaceful.
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As a brand new wellness coach, it is my goal to apply my newfound knowledge to my passion in life: helping other singles. Check back each week for wellness tips that will inspire and encourage all.