Once I am settled in, I will share all of my tips for maintaining one's sanity while in the process of relocating. I'll also share my mistakes and hopefully my readers can learn from them.
I am literally moving on. After spending many years contemplating a move, I have finally decided to bite the bullet. I'll say this: when you are a single, preparing for and organizing a move is damn hard! A "moving coordinator" truly does exist (after this experience I can absolutely understand why), but this lady cannot afford such a luxury.
Once I am settled in, I will share all of my tips for maintaining one's sanity while in the process of relocating. I'll also share my mistakes and hopefully my readers can learn from them.
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People want what they want. As someone who has been described as "too nice" by many, I have found myself in situations that I really didn't want to be in. I'm not talking about horrific situations that could cause lifelong consequences. Rather, I am referring to going along with the plans of others and repeatedly doing things that I really don't feel like doing. Now, being a friend, daughter, and aunt does require compromise and giving in to others to make them happy. This is merely part of getting along with others. However, there are are times when others see that you are good-natured and try to bulldoze their way to what they want. It's easy to fall into the passive-aggressive pattern of going along with it as you are fuming on the inside. On the other hand, it's not uncommon for a "nice" person to get their back up after repeatedly making others happy. Yes, it is hard to find that middle ground. After being in this situation myself, my best advice is to tell the other person "I'll think about it". This is a subtle way to alert the other person that you may not be comfortable with the situation and allows you some time to mull things over.
After a ten and a half hour workday, I woke up with the most horrendous cold. BAM...without warning, I my nose was stuffed to the point where I could barely breathe, my ears were clogged, my thoughts were foggy, and I felt downright cranky. As I battle this monstrous cold, I've decided to dedicate this week's post to surviving as a single when you're feeling way under the weather. My best tips:
Wish I had more for ya but sadly I do not. Cold and flu season hasn't even started yet and I've whipped through a whole box of tissues in one day. I'm off to heat up some frozen pizza and a sidedish of veggies. Stay well, everyone! Several years ago I seemed to meet the same man twice. Well, not exactly but it sure felt this way. I’ll refer to them as “R” and “M” and keep this story short since I really don’t want to relive my time with either man.
While these two men were not twins, looking back they shared many similarities. Their routine was the same. I never became the girlfriend of either. Rather, we would just “hang out”. Sure, both took me on a cursory date or two. The chivalry ended right there. These two men were experts at the Houdini routine, or “ghosting” as the younger set refers to this mode of operation. Meaning they would appear and disappear, repeatedly. Both canceled dates at the last minute and seemed sincere in their excuses. Once it was a last minute switch up at work, another time a death in the family, then vertigo struck. Both men complimented me to the hilt and seemed to “like" me on some level. Our relationship became physical, but I was too stupid to realize that neither man wanted more than once in a while fun. Now, this wouldn’t have been a bad thing if I was looking for something similar in a man. I’ll admit that I wanted more. I was honest with both guys, and the cycle continued. I used to wonder, “How could anyone be so crappy?” and then I realized it. The answer is simple. I allowed it. A male friend of mine made a suggestion of the one chance rule. It is simple. Everyone that you meet gets one chance to cancel at the last minute or make an excuse. If they do it again, they are history. At the time I thought it was harsh. One strike and you’re out? Then I decided to test out his advice. I didn’t have as many “dates” anymore but I had much less garbage in my life. No more games, no more “I’ll call you” with a text message three weeks later. No more wondering why he wouldn't respond to my facebook friend request, accompany me to a party, or meet my friends. More nights alone, but at least they were peaceful. As a longtime elementary-level teacher, I was stricken with the “10 year itch”. Year 10 was an uphill battle. I would constantly ask myself, “Is this as good as it gets?” as I knew I was on the edge of burnout. I was becoming crispy around the edges and I was increasingly afraid that this crispiness would reach my core and I’d burn out completely.
With the support of my parents and extended family, I decided to take a leap of faith and return to college full time. I had always had an interest in helping others to realize their full potential, and the world of occupational therapy fascinated me. I only needed to take three prerequisites and getting into the Master of Science in Occupational Therapy program was surprisingly easy. I’ll make a very long and convoluted story short. The first day of classes I realized that I was “not in Kansas anymore”. I chalked it up to nervousness about putting my teaching career on hold and going full force into college courses as thirty something year old student. But..things went from bad to worse. I studied my butt off for my first anatomy test, putting 110 percent effort in. My results…a 48. When I looked around, I realized that the majority of my classmates all had bachelors degrees in kinesiology, biomechanics, or another science-related field. My background was in social work and special education. In my Masters of Occupational Therapy courses, I felt as though I were someone who just woke up one day and decided to take “Advanced Polish” when I barely spoke a word of this language to begin with. I was sinking, and sinking fast. I had always been an “A” student and I was stricken with thoughts of “what happened?” So I lightened my courseload and requested a tutor. Despite this, I still couldn’t pass physiology. I was memorizing the notes and had no idea of the concepts. Not good. I realized that this was a dream I was going to have to put on hold, or possibly give up altogether. Licking my wounds for the seemingly hundredth time, I resigned to become an occupational therapy assistant. The program was inexpensive, the faculty was amazingly helpful, and I fit in with my diverse group of classmates. Unfortunately, when I completed the program and passed my boards, I realized that jobs were almost nonexistent. Even part time work is difficult to find in this field, at least in Florida. Part of me wanted to return to the masters program now that I had the background that I had so desperately needed when I embarked on my quest to become an occupational therapist. Yet, the rational part of me realized that returning to the special education classroom and using my newfound occupational therapy techniques to help my students become all that they can be would be more than worthwhile and a whole lot less expensive! In addition, I could also integrate occupational therapy techniques into my upcoming practice as a wellness coach. This long, winding road made me fully realize that in order to fully be able to help a struggling individual to succeed, one must have a firsthand understanding of how it feels to struggle. My experience as a first semester Master of Science in Occupational Therapy student provided me with more than just a failing grade in physiology. It provided me with tremendous insight into the fact that the struggle truly CAN be real! First , my apologies to readers out there. My weekly wellness column hasn't been exactly weekly. This time, i really do have a good excuse. Here in Florida, we just got through the storm of the century. Perhaps I am exaggerating a bit there, but Irma was rough. I have lived in Florida for seventeen years and I don't remember any other storm that had quite the same magnitude.
Today's post is related to getting through the storm and how taking just a few extra minutes will make your life a whole lot easier. I first began hearing a buzz about Irma the first weekend of September. This monster storm was out there churning, growing larger by the day, and forecasters were unsure if it would impact the US. Fairly typical hype that one hears on TV. Well, I was out at Walmart on Saturday night and I thought to myself, "I should stock up on water and non-perishables just in case." So I picked up a loaf of bread, peanut butter, crackers, and the like. Then I headed for the bottled water. Aside from the small individual bottles they were completely sold out. A huge part of me said to myself, "The storm is nowhere near us yet, I can always go out tomorrow and pick up water." I got in line, paid for my goods and decided to go home. On the way home, I realized that stopping at Target would only take ten minutes out of my evening. So I did. Target was fully stocked with water and I grabbed six bottles and checked out. A couple days later, my facebook newsfeed was littered with posts from fellow Floridians who were in a panic due to their inability to find water in the stores. Fights were breaking out in stores...over bottled water! People were driving miles from their home...in search of bottled water. People were putting their names on waiting lists...for bottled water. Like everyone else, I have made plenty of mistakes in life. I've screwed things up royally and I've missed some good opportunities. This time around; however, taking ten minutes and altering my plans a bit saved me from a lot of anxiety and frustration. Lessons learned: always be prepared and a few extra minutes can have a tremendous impact! Three meals a day never seemed to sit well with me. As a teenager and young adult, eating a whole lot at one time made me feel sluggish and sitting through a long meal was absolute torture. My brother often teased me about my habit of eating "lots of little meals". Several years ago, I read an article in a fitness magazine about just that: eating several meals a day. The article supported this practice and as I researched it more, I felt validated. Not only does this practice stave off hunger, it levels out blood sugar and may lead to weight loss. Of course, one must remember that the content of these mini-meals counts.: eating a small bag of potato chips as one little meal and a jumbo box of Raisinettes as another isn't going to help you with weight control. Relatively healthy mini-meals with a tasty treat thrown in now and then is the way to go.
I have recently applied the "mini meal" concept to other areas of my life. When there is a task looming ahead of me, I find that looking at the whole picture can be overwhelming. If I want to clean my house and begin to think about all of the work involved, I'm likely to say "forget it" or "this is just way too much to tackle at one time." So I divide up the work and do a bit, take a break, and then go back to it. Something to think about when you start to freak out over a seemingly unconquerable task. After hearing the terms "wellness coach" and "life coach" repeatedly over the past six or seven years, I became interested in obtaining certification. Similar to my other educational endeavors, this interest was based on helping people to maximize their strengths and become the best person that they could possibly be. Wellness coaches focus on more than a person's overall health. Clients seek coaches in an effort to create lasting changes that are aligned with their personal values and will ultimately enhance their well-being. Now that the definition is out of the way, let's get to the fun part. Each week, I will be posting an authentic wellness tip. During my wellness coach studies, I often wondered about my own state of wellness and whether or not I am fit to dole out advice to singles since I am a single. I finally realized that wellness is an ongoing journey...there is not one person on this earth who is completely "well". We are ALL a work in progress.
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As a brand new wellness coach, it is my goal to apply my newfound knowledge to my passion in life: helping other singles. Check back each week for wellness tips that will inspire and encourage all. Archives
September 2018
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